How to tell if your decisions are being made from love or fear

Posted by - October 16, 2017 Leave your thoughts

 

Love or fear?

 

Your thoughts create your reality, but it’s often difficult to know where your thoughts are coming from when you’re making decisions.

 

Are they coming from your small self (FEAR) or your Infinite Self (LOVE)?

 

In this article I’m talking about how to tell which system is in charge at any given moment, and how to consciously choose the one that will guide you to make the most aligned choices that lead to greater abundance, joy and satisfaction.

 

Read below, or watch the video here.

 

How to tell if your decisions are being made from love or fear

 

‘Small self’ is the part of us that is uncertain, fearful, contracted, thinks in limited ways, lacks trust, has a need to control outcomes and believes in lack and scarcity.

 

It’s doubtful, lacks self belief and doesn’t feel it has the power to change its circumstances.

 

It has a narrow perspective of the world, it often feels alone, unsupported and that it has to use force or effort to make things happen, often believing that if it wants things done then it has to do them itself.

 

It doesn’t trust that the greater flow of life is in charge and knows what it’s doing, so it resists life situations that are unpleasant or uncomfortable.

 

It’s where most people live from.

 

It’s the mass consciousness, so it’s easy to find yourself falling into those thinking pattern and believe in lack and limitation because nearly everyone does. It’s almost expected.

 

In fact, when you stick your head above the parapet and choose another way because you’ve discovered there is a choice – you’ll very likely be considered delusional! And people who habitually live from the small self are usually more than ready to pull you back to their reality or view of the world, because it makes them very uncomfortable to have their reality questioned.

 

 They react to their life circumstances, believing their eyes and ears, and the dominant thoughts of whatever social group they identify with, and conclude that this is how it is, or this is how, or who, they are. Because t are fixed they make do, accept the limitations of their life and live within them without challenging them very much, if at all.

 

But the small self is just an identity built up on stories from the past. 

 

What the small self perceives is an illusion and has no real substance.

We believe that what we see and perceive with our senses is the Truth and that all forms are separate from one another, including our bodies.

 

Even though physicists all agree that everything in the physical world is actually made up of energy – organised packets of subatomic particles, rapidly popping in and out of existence, creating an illusion of solidity, we still unconsciously buy into the illusion that physical forms and situations we see are fixed and solid.

 

When you go to the movies you willingly buy into the illusion that you’re seeing smooth, continuous movement, when in actual fact you’re watching 24 still frames per second projected onto a screen. Your mind has allowed you to suspend disbelief for the duration of the film, but when it’s over you know it was just a film.

 

I wonder what could happen if we all began to wake up and realise that the challenging situations we face in life, the unhelpful things you decided were true about you, or the dreams you decided weren’t possible for you are not what we perceive them to be?

 

What if we could remind ourselves that we have bought into an illusion, like going to see a movie, and that in reality we have enormous amounts of power to change our circumstances and live magnificently?

 

Imagine what you could create with your life!

 

And what if all those things you decided were true about you, or the dreams you decided weren’t possible for you, were also an illusion?

 

Can you feel a sense of expansion inside you as you consider the idea that anything is possible?

 

I'm Possible

 

Your Infinite Self is limitless, unbounded power, creativity and love

Infinite Self is who you really are – the consciousness that connects and flows through everything.

 

It is the organising intelligence of the universe that moves energy and subatomic particles – the building blocks of the universe – to create all the seemingly separate forms.

 

The essence, or energy of the universe is pure unconditional love and light. It is unlimited abundance and creative power.

 

There is no lack or scarcity at this level because it is All That Is. There is nothing that it is not. And everything exists as potentiality, so all things are possible.

 

And this isn’t just me saying this as an airy fairy spiritual idea. This is quantum physics. Science has been catching up with what the mystics have known for thousands of years.

 

You are the universe

 

So why is this awareness and knowledge useful?

Well, when you access your infinite Self and choose to make decisions from this vast perspective, you tune into the guiding intelligence of the universe.

 

This intelligence knows how to grow anything in nature to its fullest potential, including us humans.

 
It knows what you were born for and what would be an aligned choice leading you towards your potential (and most abundant, fulfilling and love-fuelled life).

 

The only thing is that we have an ego and free will, and the ego loves to avoid anything that is painful or uncomfortable, which is what we all must go through at times in life if we are to grow into who we were born to be. And it’s in this place where your smallness and your Infinite Self get into a tussle.

 

The challenge is discerning which thoughts and ideas are coming from which part of you.

 

How do you tell the difference?

Typically, when you’re coming from your Infinite Self you’ll experience more of a deep sense of knowingness. It’ll be more likely to be an embodied feeling rather than logical and localised in the head.

 

It will usually feel light, expansive, open and full of possibility.

 

It will generally be loving, encouraging, peaceful, wise, kind and from the heart – but it will often require courage, so it’s certainly not always comfortable.

 

Frequently a choice made from love, or from your Infinite Self comes with an attitude of patient curiosity and playfulness about how something will turn out, with a sense of underlying joy, not serious and heavy.

 

It allows for things to unfold rather than needing certainty, it’s more concerned about the experience in the moment – the journey, rather than outcomes or destination.

 

It inspires trust in the greater flow of life, and it always wants to grow and evolve into the best version of itself.

 

Choosing from here is connecting to Divine energy, and it creates a sense of gratitude no matter what shows up.

 

On the other hand, choosing from your small self comes from a sense of being separate from the Divine, and a need to control the outcome.

 

It often says “Yes but… I don’t know how… I can’t because…”

 

Small self judges, compares, it’s always trying to improve itself from a place of not enough-ness, and it wants to be right, rather than know the Truth.

 

You can see that the two parts have very different motivations!

 

Confined by the walls of your own creation 

How or when can you use this awareness?

Relationships: Small self worries about how you’ll be judged or perceived, so it holds back showing its authentic self. When you can recognise this you can make a different choice, you can decide to show up in your Greatness and be who you are.

 

From here you can communicate more clearly, define your boundaries more powerfully and confidently, be less defensive, more allowing of another’s perspective and opinions, and love more openly.

 

In your work life: Connecting with, and operating from your Infinite Self will help you take aligned action, and know what, out of all your different ideas, has highest priority, and what needs to be dropped completely.

 

Distraction and sabotage are tactics of the small self to stop you from changing and moving forward. If you notice this happening and you tune into your head talk, you’ll hear the thinking from the small self.

 

Once you’re aware of it, and you can acknowledge that this isn’t who you really are – you are an Infinite Being with direct access to the creative powers of the universe – you can make a different, more empowered choice, or ask what your Infinite Self would choose, and take action on that.

 

If you have a presentation to make you could tap into your Infinite Self before you speak, or before you write a blog, or work with a client or your team, go for an interview, or do a discovery call…

 

Money and health: Small self loves to use lack of money, health issues and relationship difficulties as great reasons to not live your mission, face your biggest fears and go for your dreams. It makes you believe there’s an immovable wall in front of you and that you don’t have the power to change things.

 

Your self talk around your particular circumstances (your wall) actually solidifies it into your reality because you are reaffirming its existence, which reinforces your belief that you can’t change. It’s a self-perpetuating limitation.

 

But, as previously mentioned, everything is just constantly moving energy, and nothing is fixed unless we choose to give it our attention. As soon as we release our attention energy is released as possibility once again, not solid.

 

Our deepest fears

You always have a choice about what to focus on

So if you have a big dream that just won’t leave you alone, no matter how impossible it seems, and you now know that your financial lack, your health condition, your all-consuming relationship, etc, are no longer a good excuse, why are these blocks there?

 

Most likely there is an underlying fear of stepping into your Greatness; into who you are here to become, and that’s a damn scary thing to own and take responsibility for.

 

Marianne Williamson captures it in her poem, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?…”

 

Understandably, having any kind of significant life issue creates a very accepted excuse to stay where we are so we can avoid this fear.

 

The body never lies

If you want to know whether a decision you’re making comes from love, from your Infinite Self, first check your motivations, then ask the body, because the body will never lie to you.

 

If something is aligned it will feel light, expansive, alive, and possibly spongey rather than a solid wall – so even if you are feeling a bit of apprehension, it will feel like you could push your way through.

 

If something is out of alignment it will tend to feel heavy, contracted, solid, often cold, numb or dead, and you’ll probably be running it round your head a lot using logic to make it fit.

 

Next steps…

There are lots of ways you can use this awareness to open up greater possibilities in your life and get more into alignment with your soul’s path so you can enjoy the journey faster.

 

If you’d like to explore how this could be for you, and you’d like to have a conversation about how working together could help you open up to a greater abundance of joy, love and satisfaction in your life then do get in touch and book in for a possibility call.

 

Click this link to access my online booking service where you can choose a suitable time for us to have a chat, or email me at connect@cathyballard.comand let’s see what magic is possible.

 

And I’d love to know how this resonates with you, or if you have any questions, so please leave a comment here below if you’ve enjoyed reading this, like it on Youtube, subscribe to my channel or share with your friends if you feel it would serve them.

 

To living without limits!

 
Much love,

Cathy x

 
 

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